POST-15: “This Weekend, I Took Myself On A Date” 🥂😎

This Weekend I Took Myself On A Date, and it was delightful. My partner was very gracious company, and fun to be around. 😁 I chose not to record most of my events for the evening. But Not for the sake of: “Everything doesn’t need to be televised on social media all the time..”, but more so for the importance of practicing: “enjoying the moment” and self care, for myself.

Theres nothing wrong with practicing this “selfish-act”. Nor is there anything wrong with showing the trips, you take for yourself, or the outings you go out on with your friends.. absolutely not! The important thing here, i think, was the value received in separating myself from everything else, and being able to enjoy something selfishly, because i deserved it… “Pay yourself first” is the popular term… You dont need external validation to enjoy your hard work.

Another key element of quieting the world’s outside noise, and focusing on within, is You’re able to observe your own Thoughts better… Your judgment towards Those thoughts, and perhaps the viewpoints that people give you, in judgement of your own personal decisions in Life… Powerful.

If you have an inner dialogue that says: “I am not good enough... I am bad…i am selfish..I am this and that, negative thing…”, There’s something wrong with that… isn’t there??

If people, in real Life, say you are bad, or you are this or that, negative thing..There’s something wrong with that, isn’t there?

So, this is not only a practice of quieting your mind, but being critical of your own self. The self, or the person that is the culmination of experiences, that are now in your headspace…

Ask yourself: “Is this really, who I am”?...in your right-mind you know you’re better. You know you’re capable of more, but why am I having these thoughts?.. Dance with them, if you will. Have a dialogue with them, if you choose. But what I don’t want you to do, is to believe them..

Those thoughts that think you are not better than who you know God, knows you to be. If you have a personal issue with limiting beliefs, then you know that you have control over changing that/reprogramming your mind… reengineering yourself to believe positive things, and not just from some fairy tale belief system, but proof that you indeed, Are a good person.

You can reflect on your life. look back on the things that you’ve done, said, or tried to practice (with intentionality), and see what you’ve produced. Numbers do not lie, and experiences do not lie. So again, this is very empowering because it puts you back in the driver seat of your own life to make better decisions. Wiser decisions to create growth from within.

I shared laughs with myself, took my time, and danced slowly with the experience as it happened from within. It probably looks or sounds silly, to be honest, but it’s really not.

And yes, at times it felt that way, but it was a fun/enjoyable experience for the most part…Going out on dates with your partner or even couples dates can be a wonderful experience but I really feel those experiences are great, because of the people in them.

Have you ever been out on a date or an outing with someone you did Not enjoy?.. Maybe the company wasn’t “To your liking”. You didn’t get to choose who you were with On this date/event, and it ruined your whole night!

I typically preface my stories with: “Old to you and new to me”, because our experiences and processes are not that unique. The idea of treating yourself to something good isn't that unique as well. I’m not the first person to ever do it, and I’m certainly not going to be the last.

I’ve taken myself on dates before. Whether it’s a movie, trip to the museum, restaurant or just some fun activity I like to do. There’s something very profound that happens when taking yourself on a date. Oftentimes, I think in life we inundate ourselves with distractions, and rightfully so... Sometimes it’s necessary to escape from our realities (in a Safeway of course), to help us #persevere and continue to grow. In these moments of, Escapism, it’s important to love the people you’re with.

So yeah, this can be done at a five star ⭐, ritzy restaurant.. Maybe a weekend getaway ⛱️ to a lovely hotel where you splurge on things you wouldn't normally do on a day to day basis…that’s cool. It can be an exotic trip to a faraway island, with all of the extras included. If you can afford it, by all means do it. Life is short.

However, the same experiences that elicit this type of joy can be done at scale as well. You don’t always have to “Break the Bank” 🏦🏧. It’s mostly about managing the feelings from within.

I’ve taken myself on small dates to McDonald’s or a local fast food place. Maybe I’ll go to lunch… Hell, maybe just for nostalgia sake, I’ll buy a happy meal 😂… And it’s funny seeing a 37 year old man purchase a happy meal for hisself. It looks weird.. It may look awkward, but who cares?!.. As a child it brought me Great Joy, for Mom or Dad to take the time to do That.

To say, “Yes, we’ll take u to McDonald’s”.. knowing good and well we have McDonald’s at the house. 😂… but we’ll take you there.

Now, at age 37 I don’t usually keep the toy or prize that’s within the meal, but I may give it away to a relative or kid I see in the street..but it’s the thought that counts.

The experiences reignite you from within, helping you to escape the mundane trials of life, to put yourself in a fantasy space of bliss. This is both healthy, and a practical way to grow… Tonight was no different.

The key takeaways I want to land home with you are This: we all have to learn to be good to ourselves.. to be happy with ourselves..to be at peace with ourselves…Alone.

Irrespective of the company we keep, or the relationships we have in life. This is a tremendous value that needs to be embraced. Make Quiet time alone.. Time for yourself in silence, so you can create an External atmosphere, that supports the romance and beauty you have from within.

Some may describe this as meditative practice. Taking your time to enjoy every bite of deliciousness… Maybe it’s your daily, cup of coffee in the morning. Smelling the Brew of Cocoa beans, taking that first sip and then saying: “Yes!.. 😂 Success”!

It feels good. And it’s in those moments I encourage you to mentally escape your reality, the deadlines, or the clock for your day to day activities… furthermore, If you’re any bit of O.C.D about this, I encourage you to set an alarm. This way, you don’t fall too far into mysticism that you're late for work or whatever activities you have planned ahead.

But once you have that moment of time carved out, fully indulge in the experience.

of course I was out on business, networking as usual, but taking the time to remain present and reaching from within, develops strong character. So you no longer have to reach out for the things u want to validate you, or make you feel any better, in any given situation. You are in control.

This is a character-development, skill set and practice that you should work on as much as possible... I think by doing this you can help a lot of other people as well. The saying goes: “An empty cup cannot give to another”.

This is especially true when you are on track towards your goals, you have a sense of purpose, you understand who you are and whose you are (from a spiritual standpoint).

you have a good grasp of your own Life… where you’ve come from, where you’re going, and where you are Today… And in that focus and certainty, it is important (in fact, it is imperative) that you remember where you are in the present moment, as you continue to ascend the ladder of success.

I always encourage quiet moments. Silent and peaceful environments.. situations that are not chaotic (to any degree), and by chaos I mean noise and distractions.

listening to that Still, small voice from within is extremely important, in providing clarity for your next move, or decision. Intentionality is a key word... Clean yourself up, dress up nicely, put on your favorite Cologne or perfume.

Dress up as if you are ready to meet your new spouse, or fellow loved one…

Perhaps that new business partner you’re eager to connect and build a relationship with to do great things together. Fate may have it you run into that individual, and positive things change for you in a blink of an eye.

Let us not do these things in search of that next connection, or validation... Authentically, care for yourself… why can’t you normalize being happy with yourself?

Life is ruled on community, and success is rooted in service-to-others. But you're only as strong as the weakest link on your team.

whether you have a team now, or not. The experiences in life that you’ve lived thus far, are a combination of connections and experiences that You have had, both directly and indirectly .

the interactions you find yourself in, have created a compound interest in your life to this day. This moment, here now. In my opinion, in order to Successfully move forward with clarity, and Intentionality, you don't need to move quickly anymore to achieve what you truly want.

It's more so about the intentionality and quality in which you move, from the space you’re in. This all comes from your outlook, your beliefs, your values, your judgment, and the mental paradigms you’re in.

Every, single interaction dictates where you will go. Now those are a few words, but have a lot of value to them. Extreme Value.

There’s so many different fables and quotes that liken to this story I’m giving you now.

Yoga meditation, breathing practice slows down your body’s autonomic nervous system to help create homeostasis from within. when there’s homeostasis there’s peace. when there is peace, there is love. When there is love, there is greatness. When there is greatness, there is excellence in action.

This is when you can: “Be the light, to the world around you”… your intentions are good. your heart is pure (or as pure as you can make it in that moment). And you enjoy the deliciousness of your own success. 😁

Real success, takes time.

Success has its inevitable failures, trials, struggles, scary moments, fearful moments, and in decisive moments, where you’re unsure. No man or woman, at any height of success in life, is void of these emotions or feelings. The only difference between them and us is that we (or they) are able to manage those emotions better, and Gain better control of their own, autonomic nervous systems.

Recognizing other’s beauty and success accomplished is a positive. That’s a good example to say: “hey! I like what he or she did… maybe I can try to model that success”? Or not.

You will never do Exactly what they did. You will never be exactly who they are. it is literally an impossibility. And this is a fact. Accept it, bc I have. I’ve accepted that you may not get the opportunity to learn that truth about them.

Even if they wanted to tell you. Thankfully, I’m letting you know you have God given gifts from within, and because you recognize that your internal world (and sadly, sometimes your external world) will frown upon you. look down upon you and discourage you as you try to change your environment & change your world (what little piece of it that you’ve been blessed with).

Life is a gift. And just because other people can’t see that gift and you can, doesn’t mean- that gift is a lie.

So, I encourage you: take yourself on a date.

Figure out a budget (doesn't have to be anything outrageous). Take yourself out on a date, and in your own imagination, make it as grand as you would like to be.

if you feel so inclined to help another person out, then do so. (If you're in the position to do so) do so. I think that’s what life is all about.

If not, don’t worry 😁…there will come another opportunity… I just wanna make sure you’re OK, either way.. And if you read this message, I’d love for you to comment below.

Share with me your “solo, date night” story, if you will. Go into full detail..better detail than I did here today…😁 Tell me what you enjoyed about it..what food did you eat? how did it make you smile? what feelings you were going through? All of that. 😁

Love yourself, and love others-- in that order. Give yourself a break.

#PerseveranceAndGrowth